Monday, October 25, 2004

The Swan

The Swan

It's Monday... I HATE Monday's (cue Office Space quote here)!! But this particular Monday, I actually have something to look forward to! Behold, another season of me not answering phone calls at the witching hour!

This reminds me of a little time I spent in Central Park with the visiting Dr. Rexxy. We had just seen the solarium show at the Air & Space Museum (some of Harrison Fords' better work I must say) and found ourselves later walking along the lake in Central Park. There were several people sitting along one of those giant boulders they have there and others milling around the edge of the water. Along the edge of the water there were also several tiny little birds that were just off to the side of the boulder. The birds were rather dark in color (and at first glance one might assume baby ducks). Just off to the side of these birds (trapped on the other side of the people) was a rather large and angry swan. The swan was making its way over to the tiny birds (which at this point were obviously it's offspring), that were currently being harassed by fat mid-westerners in jams and their dirty little children, whose mouths were covered in pudding pop. As I saw it quite clear now, these were obviously baby swans (as I can recall only the most famous of children stories now left to cliche city)! But as this rather brash German (and all the other onlookers, sans Kiki and Dr. Rexxy) saw it, these little birds were in trouble and need of some defending. Like a warrior in his military boots and blonde crew cut, the German chased after the swan"SWAAAAAAAAAAN, SWAAAAAAAAAAAAN, c'mere SWAAAAN!!!" (Mind you Dr. Rexxy at this point could be heard saying to himself rhytmically "Oh, Mis-ter Swaaaaaannnn?!) The swan squawked and charged, doing it's best to protect it's babies. The German not only tried unsuccessfully to chase the bird away, but when this failed his frustration (or apparently learned skills) kicked in and he actually lunged and kicked the swan in the neck... HE KICKED THE BIRD IN ITS FRIGGIN NECK!!! The visiting Wisconsonians thanked him and he replied "it 'tis no pro-blem... I deal with this sort of 'ting all da time in my country!" Wha??? You deal with what all the time in Deutschland? Kicking birds in their necks? What the hell is wrong with you, man?! I was somewhere stuck in this weird parallel of being disgusted and laughing my ass off like I find myself everytime someone has displayed even the tiniest of trips. God that shit was funny!

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