Wednesday, November 03, 2004

How To Lose A Girl In 10 Paragraphs...

How To Lose A Girl In 10 Paragraphs...

MoMo just received this latest attempt by JPE via email (and this seriously all derives from a single email) to enquire about a possible date (and mind you these two have met up for a "date" twice and both times LouLou and I have tagged along, as asked). She has allowed me to answer the email for her:

[Kiki's words of advice to JPE: Stay away from 20 questions and possibly take a hint or two or three or four...]

From: JPE
To: MoMo McHottness (replies by Kiki)
Subject: Gh Gh Gh Gh Ghettoween!

How was it? HOW WAS WHAT?
Any face plants on random beds? SO WHAT, ARE YOU LIKE SPYING ON ME NOW?
The costume work out? UH... WORK OUT? HOW SO?
Who had the best one...other than yourself? OBVIOUSLY, KIKI!
Georgia was off the chain...way off! ARE YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH?
I mean I have never been to anything like it. And the Dawgs won which makes it that much better. UH... GO BACK TO FIRST GRADE GUY, YOU MISSPELLED DOGS!
Three days on the beach and about a dozen Peach daiquiris later I am still hurtin'. PEACH DAIQUIRIS? UH... I'M JUST GOING TO ASSUME THAT WAS ALSO A MISTYPE?!
How many peeps creeped down to the ghetto. Any neighbors join the festivities? EASTER ISN'T FOR A FEW MONTHS AND WHO EXACTLY ARE MY NEIGHBORS? SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU JUST WANT TO ASK ME STUPID QUESTIONS (MAKE THAT A RIDICULOUS NUMBER OF STUPID QUESTIONS)!
We hanging out this weekend? IF YOU CAN'T TELL ALREADY, NOT LIKELY!
Cause I knows you don't chill during the week. FALSE. At least not with me. TRUE STORY!
Too much CSI and Shit! YOU ARE WEIRD AS HELL GUY! NOT TO MENTION I'M GETTING TIRED OF THIS SURVEY!
I got great Giants Tickets Sunday and am requesting your presence. SORRY, I HAVE PLANS WITH MY FRIENDS QUESO AND RANCH, AND GIVEN THE EARLIER PEACH DAIQUIRI COMMENT ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN'T SOMEONE WITH TESTICLES YOU'D RATHER INVITE?
I might have to babysit the nephew on Saturday cause my sis is spending the weekend in Miami with her friend Chudney who is turning 30. No babies allowed. IS CHUDNEY A SPICE OR AN HERB? OH, AND NICE TRY, TRYING TO THROW IN THAT BABYSITTING COMMENT BACK THERE, LIKE I'M GOING TO IMMEDIATELY BE ATTRACTED TO YOU... BESIDES, UP CLOSE, KIDS SORTA FREAK ME OUT!
Going to Arizona next Week for 5 days. GREAT, I CAN WALK THE STREETS WITHOUT WEARING THAT SHREK MASK AS A DISGUISE!
And that's my schedule. DID I ASK? UM... NOT SO MUCH! BEAT IT, NERD!
L8 WHAT THE F IS UP WITH THIS EBONIC SHIT, NELLY? LAST I CHECKED YOU WORE A BLAZER TO MEET ME AT THE VILLAGE TAVERN!
jpe

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