Monday, November 08, 2004

I Have A Confession...

I Have A Confession...

When I was in third grade Brooke, Robin, and I asked some random adult at Lane Avenue Shopping Center to pretend to be our father so that the pet store would allow us to buy a pet rabbit. It goes without saying, that due to my lax upbringing, we kept the rabbit over at my house. I was lazy and thought the thing smelled too bad, so eventually I just allowed the rabbit to drink its own pee... needless to say, later that week we parted ways. The rabbit off to bunny heaven and me to 4th grade. (Those of you who have made acquaintances with the newest "additions to my family", Tater and Tot, should think about starting to pray for them now!)

But now, thanks to the Corsair, I can feel a little bit better about myself while reading others (mostly) depressing confessions over at Group Hug.

Alas, let me allow you some of my favorite examples:

when i think of my dead friend i wonder what her body looks like at this stage of death. im a normal person.

when no one is around i dance to camp disco music and act all faggy.

One time my grandma was at my house because of a tornado and a bug crawled up her pants and I didn't tell her. She's not alive anymore.

Last night i was at a friends house getting drunk. I thought it would be funny to feed his cat a mix of curry powder andwashing detergent. The cat died soon after, but i said it was probably old age (the cat seemed unwell already). We buried it earlier today. He even made a little tombstone...

I dropped my friend off at the airport early in the morning and on the way back I realized that I had to shit. I couldn't hold it in and ended up shitting my pants in my car on the freeway [ed. ahhh... the ol' problematic "sharting"]. It ran down my leg and everything. By the time I got back to my apartment it was light outside and I had to make a mad dash to my apartment, which was fine, but it left a pile of shit in my car to marinate in the sun. It's clean now.

i can't control my friends anymore. and frankly i dont care if lauren bangs neil or joe. or both. whatever...

my nose started bleeding only after 2 lines last night. i need more.

and lastly:

i let a dog lick the tip of my penis.

2 Comments:

Blogger Ron said...

Our numbers are growing, Kiki, glad to see you've joined the club.

R

November 8, 2004 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

Thanks, glad to be here! I enjoy the Corsair!

November 9, 2004 at 9:40 AM  

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