Friday, December 31, 2004

Johnny and I. What was Johnny saying at this particular moment? "I want to taste some of your milk!"

The glorious Vail!

I can easily say this might be one of the greatest weeks in Kiki's lifetime. I can safely say my enthusiasm level has been at a 10. Kiki on 10! Spending time with some of my best friends, including Rob (above with enormous beard), Budge (above in grey) and Johnny (above as Steve Zissou), has made this a time to remember. The weed hasn't hurt either. We spent Wednesday skiing in town at Breckenridge, which is a great little village. Our house is a spectacular log cabin with a hot tub. Thursday was spent skiing the absolutely fantastic Vail (pictured above)! Vail is by far the best resort I've had the pleasure of skiing. The morning began with 2 feet of fresh powder, which makes for a most enjoyable time. I took it fairly safe at Vail restricting myself to greens and blues. Today me and seven of the guys traveled to Keystone. I would say Keystone was my least favorite of the three, but hands down a good time. The boys required more of me then I would resort to if left to my own. Keystone had really great cruising long trails. We stayed off the black bowls and thankfully today, which was the first day including monster wipe outs, was limited to two. Tonight is New Years Eve and should prove a nice (almost) end to a great trip. At this point I would be interested to see the over/under on my return to New York City, because it's definitely not a sure thing.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

So it's approximately 6 hours until we rise and head out of Fort Collins for Breckenridge. Rob and I are currently trying to pack his bags while listening to Scissor Sisters (wha are they thinking?) and testing out the oneie we've brought for the lifts. I'm not much help, as I can't stop giggling over his full beard (did somebody order a Mexican?) A call into Budge in Smooth Johnny K's car confirms they are in St. Louis currently doing 110. I'm hoping they make it in one piece tomorrow morning, although I fear the preplanned debauchery in Kansas City may permanently damage my precious ski's and equipment I had JK tote up for me.

"I Love Neon Signs!" - Bumper Sticker Seen Between Denver and FC

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Top 10 Gifts:

Top 10 Gifts:

1. Plane Ticket to Denver
2. Shot Glass Chess Set
3. Sock Monkey
4. Cash
5. Anthropolgie Coat
6. Napoleon Dynamite DVD
7. Felicity: Season 1 DVD
8. The OC: Season 1 DVD
9. Juicy Coutoure Jewlery
10. Bloomingdale's Gift Certificate

Christmas is over. I've had better. Not sure if I've had worse. Too much traveling. Tons of cars flipped over. No cable. No electricity. Lots of weed. Lots of anticipation.


Thursday, December 23, 2004

And Mary Just Needed A Place To Stay...

And Mary Just Needed A Place To Stay...

I came to find today that my last bedfellow of quite a significant amount of time is now and most likely has been in the midst of what seems to be a relationship with another. This has driven me to sulk and ponder most of the morning, which one would find odd if you knew how little I felt about this person on a day to day basis.

In my life I think I’ve only been truly interested in two boys. And out of those two boys only in love with one of them. I find it difficult to be open enough that I would be interested in someone usually. The other, more recent interest I spoke of, didn’t even come close to matching feeling or experience I had for my first and since only love.

Interestingly enough (or should I say depressingly enough) it sticks out in my memory that neither of the two ever gave me an orgasm or appeared to make an honest effort towards the outcome of one. So why is that in both cases I found myself nauseous at the news they were eventually with someone else. Why is it that girls are conditioned to feel at these moments?

Most that have met me have at one time or another used the phrase “you’re tough” to describe me. I believe they say this most instances in terms of my approachability, although I am sure it can be said it applies as well to my resilience at times. I assume this is some sort of defense mechanism I developed after the Armageddon that I would describe my first love, because surprisingly with him I was able to be open and giving, but never since.

The real question that plagues me at this moment, why would I possibly be interested in someone that wasn’t able or never bothered to supply me with an orgasm (I've tried it, it's not that difficult)? And more importantly, why now some three months after its pitiful end would I even care that some other woman is getting his affection? Is it because I’m afraid he saved up this underrated trade for two years while he drunk dialed and bored me and now she is reaping the benefits of my tireless wait?

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Hopefully tonight I'll be leaving the city at the late hour to enter the tundra that is caused by "lake effect" over in good ol' buckeye country. 6 to 10 inches later I'm not so sure I'll make it out of here, so if this is the case I expect everyone to pull together to make sure my holiday is as warm and as bright as it should be.

In 5 short days I will be chapping my face on the slopes of Vail and Breckenridge and I can't remember the last time I have been quite so excited for anything (although 80's prom was at fever pitch. I believe it will pale in comparison to my friend Tripple Nipple Backes' upcoming wedding in Amsterdam in 4 months... now that's what I'm talking about)! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and remember that the holidays are a time for excess (I for one will be chock full of experimentation over the coming week and a half).

I pity the fool that just says no! (did you hear the kick drum and symbols on that one?)

Update: So currently all flights into C-bus have been canceled thus far for the day... the tears are starting to well...

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Just like the Rachel that came before her, Rach has finally appeared in "The Bible". I'm just like a proud Mother (whose daughter is photographed in her underwears for the very first time)! I think I just shed a tear of joy.

Congrats Rach!

[court. Page Six]

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Sunday the girls and I had a holiday dinner which consisted of about a dozen bottles of wine. Following the get together Rach and I attended the Spin Magazine "Year in Music" party. We arrived pretty much at the worst possible point, when they are no longer offering up free booze. We drank all the same. And kept drinking. This reason, may have something to do with the reason that I was sent home yesterday from work at 3 PM after coworkers kept a tally of the times I ran to the bathroom to revisit the gallons of water I ingested. My total number of times hugging the toilet with results yesterday at work: 10. Followed by a solid 2 times upon my arrival at home.

At the Spin Magazine party we received gift bags in the form of Sailor Jerry originals (Tattooed Clothing and Accessories). My bag (although all might have said this) was rather fitting as it was titled "Stewed, Screwed, and Tattooed". Check out their site, they have some great T-shirts and other odds and ends.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Due to last weeks extreme and total suckiness, I am expecting the next few hours and days to be ones I will never forget or rather forget fairly quickly. I expect to puke on myself a number of times over the next coming days, which anyone that knows me knows that this means there is fun for all involved. Tonight my sloppiness will begin in the privacy of my home and will eventually lead me to the company of the soap actors. It will take everything I have just to not embarrass those around me by saying something highly inappropriate to a certain actor regarding a possible teabag session I've been thinking about. Saturday are several birthday parties. And lastly on Sunday, Rach and I are going to Spin Magazine's "Year in Music" party. There I will find myself drunk rather quickly in a defense to hide the pain that will result when I realize I am the least hippest human in the room (being that I hate the word "hip").

Now, if you're looking for me over the weekend you'll know where to find me, if all else fails peek inside 7B.

11 Days Until Vail!!!

911 What's Your Emergency?

911 What's Your Emergency?

To: Rahat Ahmed - Analyst, Prince Street Capital Management
Address: rahata@prince****.com
Re: Last night

I know we don't know each other, unless you count when you all but slammed the front door on my face before leaving for work yesterday morning (didn't anyone tell you to hold the door for a lady?), so you can imagine my surprise at our encounter last evening.

It was just after 3 AM and I had awoken to the sound of pennies, dimes, and nickels being slid under my door every so often. I was cofused at first as I came out of my slumber and got nervous there might be some sort of rodent that had appeared in thick of the night in my apartment. So thank you for letting me know this wasn't the case when you decided to use your credit cards to try and jimmy my locks. I had to know that mice aren't that resourceful. But yet, even bound with such knowledge, I still sat in my bed trying to make sense of the night around me. My trusty hammer that I like to keep close for such occasions was nowhere to be found. I especially enjoyed running around my apartment naked unable to see trying to locate something with the proper density with which to crack your skull open should it come to blows. I'm already aware that we are not yet acquainted at this point and you must not read my blog or else you would be familiar with my already present and numbing fear of an intruder raping me. Your little game of cat and mouse was really on par. It is rare that one is able to say they shit their (non-existant) pants out of fright in the wee hours of the morning, but I can say just that when you began piledriving into my door. Thanks for that.

In the past I have been apprehensive to dial up the men in blue, but I thought this time might be the end of the line for me and quickly got on the horn to 911. I'm not sure how much any of this has to do with the marathon of CSI's I watch before bed each night, probably none, right? The lady on the other end seemed to know what she was doing, although at first she thought we were in some place called "Monroe", but we got past that. I'm pretty sure she's done this before. We established my address and number and the nature of the problem and it was at that point... you spoke.

Your method of buttering me up was just short of spectacular. Each time you called me "baby" and appealed that I let you in, I was closer and closer to making eye contact out that peephole. The 911 lady wanted in on the action, wanted to know if you were black or hispanic (a little presumptious on her part, but all the same). We encountered some difficulties with reception, for the 911 lady to hear me I had to be far away from the door, but I didn't want to miss a second of your sweet nothings. You pleaded that I open the door and it wasn't until I shouted "go away, dildo" that you began to sob. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You whined through your tears "it's me baby, let me in, it's Rahat"... he has a name. "I live here, why won't you let me in?" "My hands are all cut up, baby". I could sense you were confused, but yet, it was clear you thought I was the confused one. You wanted me to understand and it was with great foresight that you slid your business card under the door. That'll come in handy this weekend, my love.

Eventually you whimpered away and the police arrived. I noticed as I walked out into the hallway (this time robed) with a pungent smell as if it was a Listerine botteling plant since the early 80's that the 6'3" plain clothes policeman was all business. He in his black trench coat with the sleeves schunched up to the elbows and his little pony tail was just as dashing as Crocket, or was it Tubbs? It was with good sense that he used your keys and let you in and left you a piece of advice in the form of "clean up your apartment." I've never felt more safe.

Our night soon came to an end and I stepped back to my abode and collected the miscellaneous items you had left on my door step like a mini-shrine. Two buttons, one business card, a wadded up dollar bill and just inside about $1.84 in change. Thank you Rahat. Thank you for your contribution to the Kiki Defense Fund. Be expecting my call this weekend.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Which One Do You Want First?

Which One Do You Want First?

The bad news: I received a call this morning regarding whether or not I had yet retained lawyers for my upcoming civil suit (i.e. f'ing blindsided).

The good news:
Although it's widely known thoughout that I "give good MK", Rachel et al have just assured me that after much comparison my infamous and much coveted Mary-Kate and Ashley impressions have been deemed best in all the land (however, I am made aware through the recent images from the "To Russia with Love" event from last night that the modifications I have in the past used to go from MK to Ash need to be slightly adjusted. Currently making a mental note).

And as you can tell, the good news has all but TOTALLY wiped my focus from my apparent upcoming court date. Wha??

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Will Ferrell (aka the 2nd funniest man alive*) is set to do a new movie titled "Bronze God" according to

Columbia has tapped Alex Gregory and Peter Huyck to script "Bronze God," a comedy vehicle for Will Ferrell... Thesp will play a lifeguard who realizes his dream by securing a wildcard entry into a beach volleyball tournament... "Will's about the funniest guy out there, and he's even funnier shirtless, in a Speedo and with a savage tan," said Gregory.

Can't wait!

*Funniest Man Alive: Michael Ian Black

13 Days Until Vail!!!

I (heart) Jared

I (heart) Jared

Jared & Demander
Originally uploaded by Kikinyc.

Tonight is Jared's last performance at Piano's. I hope to make it so that my arguments for him being a bad friend always stand up.

Tomorrow night we bid farewell to our residency at pianos. This is our last show before the new year. Hope to see you there.

{pianos - 158 ludlow near stanton}
the so and so's 8:30
demander 9:30
shy child 10:30
ike reilly 11:30

Update: This is why you should never send me anything in written form that I could use against you. I just received this email from Jared, which I will now reread daily as to fool myself into thinking it's real:

i'm in love with you and if you show i may get distracted, or i just may have the best show of my life. ahhhh!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

On occasion I question the nature of my singledom. And in an instant I hear my father "you got to want it to win it" repititiously playing over and over like he would in my youth to keep the motivation going in his tri-sporter of a daughter. I wonder if this might perhaps be my issue, but then I become painfully aware that I spent last evening with Lulu at bars on Orchard drinking straight vodka and lime juice all the while dominating at naked PhotoHunt ("babes" version of course) and think this might have a little more something to do with it.

14 Days Until Vail!!!

Monday, December 13, 2004

New York Metro centers a feature around our man, Wes and "Life Aquatic":

And so, it would seem, are lines from Murray that, if not improvised, are brilliantly attuned to his dead-eyed, shrugged-off manner. “This gizmo’s outta juice,” he mutters, tossing a spent weapon aside. He also suggests to Wilson’s Ned that, rather than call him Dad, he refer to him as “Steve-sy.” And defending a young crew member, Murray snaps, “Don’t point that gun at him—he’s an unpaid intern!” Any of this ad-libbed? “No!” says Anderson proudly. “I mean, Bill improvises in the way he’ll say a line, but everything you just cited was in the script.”

This Just In:

This Just In:

I just received a phone call from my former boss (the one whose husband is the First Assistant Director on such greats as The Royal Tenenbaums and currently Life Aquatic). She has informed me that indeed the final version of Life Aquatic was wonderful (which I would know if my lazy ass wasn't puking up bile yesterday). She attended the screening with both Wilson brothers and can concur that Owen Wilson is one of the greats (although she proclaimed that Luke "although better looking in person is of very little actual talent").

Public Service Announcement

Public Service Announcement

Leslie has informed me that from now on "LouLou" will be spelled as "Lulu". Please all take note of this.

Also, this weekend was a total bust leaving me in the position to declare several times to Lulu and MoMo that "I was going to get some new friends". One of these two put in a solid effort by popping an adderall on Saturday evening only to realize later she wasn't going to make it out (although I can cofirm she was wide eyed and bushy tailed until 7AM). If it weren't for the good people of Southwest Airlines that finally brought Rachel back to me from Vegas late Saturday night, this world might be short one Kiki this morning.

15 Days Until Vail!!!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Tonight is the one friends holiday office party I actually enjoy attending, that of LouLou's soap opera. Last time I hung out with these soap actors I had trouble separating fact from fiction (we're talking serious difficulty), and if that weren't bad enough, I was drunk enough that I insisted on addressing them as their characters even when they would correct me. It was truly glorious! Tonight, I presume, will be much of the same, if not worse. As evidence, I provide you with my most recent correspondence:

Kiki: So what do you plan on wearing this evening?
MoMo: I think the green sweater. [omitted name of a soap actor] have never seen me in that!
Kiki: [soap actor]'s also never seen me naked... yet!
MoMo: Tag team?
Kiki: Ooo, that's dirty... you just asked me to be in a tag team, Lesbo... it's certainly possible!
MoMo: Just cause I don't want to be left out of the [soap actor] action... don't worry, I won't fondle you, just him.
Kiki: Good thing he's got a pair of balls, so we don't have to fight...
MoMo: Which one you got?
Kiki: I've always been ambidextrous, I can work the lefty if you prefer...
MoMo: Good, I'm much better with my right :-)
Kiki: Consider this verbal contract in place.

Friday, December 10, 2004

I really feel like this Craigs List "Missed Connection" has the workings of an Oscar contender, ne c'est pas?

-Sat next to me on the Amtrak train couple days after T-Day in 2003
-Were visiting your mother and stepfather at their remote place in the country
-work as a personal assistant to a stockbroker at that time....but wanted to pursue other things like said you used to paint but stopped
-Complained about your you had to run his errands for him
-Were an amazing conversationalist. Were beautiful..very striking...
-While we were talking you had a seizure
-You fell to the floor
-I held you and comforted you while the train stopped and a doctor on the train assisted
-You cried and were scared
-paramedics came and took you away
-You discharged yourself the next day....just upp'd and left the hospital...that's what they said when I called.....
-I offered to share a turkey sandwich with declined
-Think about you constantly and wonder how you are
-Want to talk to you.....want to share how that event changed my life.
This is a true MC........where oh were are you? If anyone knows...tell me

I laughed, I cried...!

Tis Friday!!!

Tis Friday!!!

You know it's Friday when a conversation like this passes my way:

Kiki: What are the plans for this evening? I heard you sold your computer so you have enough money to drink tonight!
MoMo: Not sure about the computer yet. I must come up with another plan.
Kiki: Let's think of a plan then... Perhaps you can borrow from me?
MoMo: I hate borrowing. But maybe we could think of something else.
Kiki: Don't we all, but it's not like you're borrowing a down payment on a house here... although at the amount we drink, ain't that much of a difference. You don't need both of your kidneys, you could sell one of those puppies.
MoMo: Now that's a thought. I might lose weight by selling a kidney too... how much them bad boys weigh?
Kiki: Not sure what they fetch, but come to think of it you might need both your kidneys since I'm pretty sure your liver's hanging on by a thread.

Yes folks, this is what we call a "confirmation":

LINDSAY Lohan did not lose her purse the other day, it was only a "card case," according to her rep. "Listen," the rep said, "It carried her license and two credit cards, that was it." By now, everyone and their brother has seen e-mails falsely claiming Lohan's "purse" also contained cocaine, a charge the rep laughed off. "At this time Lindsay is not planning on suing [the woman who found the card holder - NOT KIKI]. She's annoyed and p- - -ed off because it is not true, but what is she going to do — rant and rave? That's not her style."

I would like to mention that no where in the email did it mention a "purse"...

[court. Page Six]

18 days until Vail!!!

After last night there are two things I know for certain:
1. I did not see that coming on The OC!
2. John Mayer has one of the sexiest personalities!

Update: My goals are nothing if not lofty:
JdeG: Did you watch the John Mayer thing?
Kiki: I rushed home and watched my DVR'd "The OC" and John Mayer... it's affirmative, I still love him. I really need to find him and marry him, or at least get knocked up with his illegitimate spawn.

Thursday, December 09, 2004


I wasn't especially looking forward to my office party last night... but upon spying this ensemble worn by one of my coworkers, it was clear to me just how worth it it was!

*note: We do not work for a bar, brothel, strip joint, clown in oversized shoes, or a pimp.

My horoscope for the day:

Overview: Pretend you're a super spy on assignment in a foreign country, and that you've just made eye contact with The Subject. That's how you'll feel when you run into someone you know you were meant to meet.

What it should have said:

Beware of this blog shit because you're about to be bit in the ass!

(All I will say is, I will from now on be much more frugal in my sharing of information, as I was unaware that actual people that knew me - - besides LouLou and crew - - were actually messing with and reading these things. Man alive, am I embarrassed!!)

Mischa & the Munch (ewwww!)

Mischa & the Munch (ewwww!)

Maybe the reason The O.C.'s Marissa (Mischa Barton) has had such a hard time finding Mr. Right is that she's been looking for a Mister. In a story arc that begins in January, the teen princess will fall for a fellow female. So says series creator Josh Schwartz in an interview with, though he declines to name the object of Marissa's affection. ''Marissa is at a point in her life where she's trying to find herself and her true identity,'' explains Schwartz, who says the lesbian subplot idea was his. ''There's another character who she really connects with. It's a girl, which is not something Marissa may have anticipated. But she's willing and game to explore and experiment with that.''

Schwartz denies that the plot twist is an effort to boost the show's sagging ratings. ''We cooked it up well before the show ever premiered this year,'' he says. ''We're constantly looking at evolving and growing these characters. And challenging them. They're at that age where they're open to it.'' He adds, ''It was either that or Oliver's return.'' (No, not that psycho!)

Barton fans will recall that she acted in a similar subplot a few years ago on Once and Again, where she played the first same-sex love interest for high schooler Jessie (Evan Rachel Wood). ''Marissa loves whatever you throw at her. She's game,'' Schwartz says, calling the actress by her character's name. ''If she's OD-ing in Tijuana, she's up for it. Exploring new parts of her sexuality — she's up for it.'' We just hope her new partner is also up for it — and that she watches out for flying lawn furniture.

-by Gary Susman

19 Days Until Vail!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004



LouLou has just been promoted to Assistant Producer at my favorite soap opera (or my "story" as I like to call it)! Couldn't be more deserved!!! You're my girl, Lou!

We will celebrate in style by getting sauced tomorrow before Brendan's "work" party. This makes me realize... I was basically shit-canned Friday, Saturday (which lasted until Sunday night), Monday LouLou and I decided to bathe in vodka, tonight free booze at my work party, followed by Jared playing at Piano's, tomorrow Brendan's, and thus the weekend begins... I should ask for a relaxing weekend at a spa (i.e. Betty Ford's) for Christmas.

I'm just going to go ahead and say it... LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST* NIGHT OF TELEVISION EVER! ... This almost makes up for the fact that I have to attend my work "holiday" party tonight, but then again - - free booze!

*High School Reunion followed by the unsurpassed Laguna Beach finale & announcing Season II!

Speaking of free booze and holiday work parties, my friend Brendan is a self-chosen unemployed lad. Rather then miss out on the tride and true work holiday party, Brendan has decided to throw his own in the spirit of "when people get drunk in front of their bosses, careers are ruined, and lives change forever":

Where: McFadden's - 42nd and 2nd
When: Thursday, Dec. 9 - 9:00 PM to close
Specials: 9-11PM - $20 all you can drink TOP SHELF (you don't have to do this special)
Who: Me working to make sure you get drunk and have a very merry holiday season

The Countdown Begins: 20 DAYS UNTIL VAIL!

I'm starting to think Lindsay and I could be BFF!

I'm starting to think Lindsay and I could be BFF!

I received the following email:

Hey Girls,
I just wanted to update you about our weekend in NYC. Of course it was Liz's birthday so it was bound to be a crazy know it's never a dull moment when two or more of us P.C. girls get together! Well, for those of you who didn't recieve a late night phone call Saturday night from Liz, I'll fill you in on what happened...

When we got off the subway in Manhattan, me Liz and Charley were attempting to catch a cab when I saw something laying on the street... it looked like a wallet so I kicked it over to Charley and said "whats this?" Charley picked it up and we jumped into the cab. Inside the cab Charley opened the wallet and found a liscence, an American Express Black card, a $20 bill rolled tight, and a folded up $1 bill. He yells: "Oh my God, guess whos wallet this is!" I said: "Whos? I found it, hand it over!" To my surprise it was Lindsay Lohan's California liscence and credit card! I took out the dollar bill and unfolded it to find a rather large bag of what looked to be cocaine! I couldnt believe my eyes! We had a pop star's wallet with illegal drugs and she's only 18!

The first thing that came to mind was to blackmail for a large amount of cash or a casting in her next movie... Unfortunately I've learned that publicity might not be so appealing when you have tons of strange people calling your cell phone to buy your story. Since I had no idea if I should keep the wallet or send it back, I called US Weekly for advice. US Weekly called Lindsays publicist and the next thing I knew I was getting calls from her publicist threatening to sue me. She wanted my home address so she can send a driver out to pick it up. I refused to give her any personal information. The National Inquirer called me about 8X to buy my story for $2500 (which keeps going up everytime I talk to them), they want to take pictures of the evidence, give me a polygraph, and interview me tomorrow. I dont think its the morraly correct thing to do and Im not sure its the safest either. the New York Post has attempted to contact me (check for an article in tomorrow's paper, most likely it will not be a completely accurate story), the NYPD (who threatened to arrest me if i dont hand over the goods since they claim it is government property), and some strange people who wouldn't even tell me who they were (but thought I was dumb enough to give them my address). I don't know who to believe and what to do with the wallet. I told Lindsay's publicist that I would like to return it to her in person so that I knew it was going to her. She said she would ask her. Supposedly Lindsay was freaked out by the whole thing and was crying hysterically and denied ever doing any drugs. The publicist told me she only drinks a lot and likes to party, and smokes cigarettes, but what 18 year old doesn't...what a publicist she is! She also claimed to have called Lindsay's parents who called their lawyer and is ready to sue me if I make any wrong moves.

At this point Im kind of afraid to answer my phone anymore b/c Im scared someone might get my address and come to my house. I think what I will do is just mail it to her house in Beverly Hills tomorrow and hope it gets to her. Anyway, I scanned the liscence and the credit card for you guys to see just for kicks. I blacked out her street address b/c I don't know what kind of trouble I can get into and I have to be careful! The black card is cancelled, but it would have been nice to have a night of unlimited spending on Lindsay Lohan for Liz's 24th birthday!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Immediately after making this statement, Kiki realized that it was true

Immediately after making this statement, Kiki realized that it was true

Budge's favorite man about town in the too short corduroy suit has been interviewed by Gothamist for his upcoming film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou.

*I have it on good authority (my old boss is married to the First Assistant Director) that Life Aquatic is less then satisfactory (although she says this opinion was based when it was in rough cut in Cinecitta). I however, will refuse to believe this and will assume it is of pure magic just as are all his other masterpieces.

Tennis Announcer 1: That's 72 unforced errors for Richie Tenenbaum. He's playing the worst tennis of his life. What's he feeling right now?
Tennis Announcer 2: I don't know, Jim. There's obviously something wrong with him. He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and... actually, I think he's crying.

One of the best shows on television to date begins another season (it's 3rd) tonight, the WB's "High School Reunion". I get sucked in every season, and I expect this one to be no different, if not even worse! Any show that labels people "The Predator", "The Meathead", and "The Fat Chick" in hopes that they are able to come together ten years later and hash out their differences is aces in my book. If you happen to pass by an apartment in Murray Hill that is billowing with clouds of fragrant smoke and thundering with rapturous laughter, ring the bell... I'm in there!

Back stabbing! Boyfriend swapping! Brawls! The WB brings it on with the return of High School Reunion. Watch as 14 classmates from Cardinal Gibbons High, an ultra ritzy, private, Catholic school in Fort Lauderdale - all of whom are no strangers to teenage snobbery and sex scandals - are reunited after 10 years on the island of Maui. The ante is upped daily as vengeful new arrivals from rival cliques, classes and a nearby public school, do everything they can to crash the party and seek redemption.

[Various Updates via Reality Blurred]
[Obsessive Amount of Various Articles via Sir Links a Lot]

Monday, December 06, 2004



Happy 26th Birthday Ambrosia!

If I hadn't been so busy trying to post pictures of unwitting friends in their panties I would have gotten this out sooner! I love you and miss you and hope that perv of a boyfriend shows you a great time on your special day!

[Photo removed due to possible future fame and fortune]

Today Rachel is doing her first photo shoot for Stuff Magazine in La Perla lingerie to promote her upcoming show on Mtv, PoweR Girls.

I would like to point out it is I that have the first pictures of her in her underwears. I wouldn't suggest passing out in the hallway before you reach the door again, Rach! Hope it goes fantastically!

Word of the Day

Word of the Day

Brought to you by Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition:

absinthe \AB-sinth\ noun 1 : wormwood; especially : a common European wormwood (Artemisia absinthium)
*2 : a green liqueur which is flavored with wormwood, anise, and other aromatic herbs and commercial production of which is banned in many countries for health concerns

Example sentence:"I draw the line at absinthe, a bottle of which is still sitting in my liquor cabinet five years after it was received, gleaming ominously." (Alexandra Jacobs, The New York Times, November 7, 2004)

Did you know?In 1797, the Swiss Henri-Louis Pernod was the first to commercially produce an alcoholic drink from the bitter herb Artemisia absinthium, known commonly as wormwood. By the mid-to-late 1800s this bright green distillation, by then known in both French and English as "absinthe," had become wildly popular, especially among artists and writers, but it also had a tendency to make people a little wild. In fact, it was linked to several nasty disorders, including convulsions and foaming at the mouth. The culprit? A toxin in wormwood — perhaps the very chemical that gives the plant its tapeworm-exterminating properties (and thus its name). Because of these horrific side effects, true absinthe was banned in many countries (including the U.S.) in the early 1900s, but that didn't remove the taste for the drink.
*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Photo by Patrick McMullen

(Above) Rachel, Lizzie, and the rest of the PoweR Girl team at Marquee last night.

Although Rachel isn't currently drinking, gearing up for her photo shoot with Stuff magazine and La Perla lingerie on Monday, the rest of us will be in full form this weekend. Dev is coming in to visit from D.C. for the weekend and I know it promises to be a good time. Dev and I met last February in D.C. when the girls and I went to play with the most popular boy in the sandbox, Chris Spahr! Saturday promises to be good times as well with Roni's birthday at Pressure (?), along with a visiting Alex.

Manhattan Transfer's Commandments
(I hope he's aware this eliminates 100% of all women... If I know you and you don't think you fit, ask me, I'll tell you which numberS got you in a figure four!)

Thursday, December 02, 2004

You Can't Always Get What You Want

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I have a sickness. It's called "wanting what you can't have" and I've got the class 3 variety of this debilitating disease. I've had it since I was a child and I could document point by point all the specifics that stick out as being catalysts to making my ills full blown.

It probably started with having an older brother and having to wear my dresses paired with his fucking tube socks (or "quitters" as we call them), maybe it has more to do with getting the red headed Cabbage Patch kid, when I wanted the blonde one to match myself, or just maybe it has something to do with growing up in an extremely affluent white neighborhood with only one parent to my name (but that is more in reference to psychobabble explanations then I plan to go here).

It could be seen as early as in elementary school when everyone was decked out in Michael's Kid Stuff clothing and had a Laura Ashley for every day of the week. My mom wasn't a shopper, so I only had about 3 jumpers or dresses to my name. My bows were never the biggest (Amber and Robin, you take that prize we well know) and I was one of the last to have the ever popular Ching Chang (I would so bring that game back... picture it drunk at a bar). There were a few things I beat people to; Converses in 3rd grade (excellent turquoise halfsies), the double sided phone in 4th grade, my period in 6th grade (that one they could've had), a Wrangler before I even turned 16, and the Alma bag from Louis Vuitton as an adult... so needless to say my disease was not born out of neglect here. I at some point learned the tricks of the trade in working over my Mom and can usually count on this to suffice in a pinch.

As an adult though I find this sickness transpiring to include mainly clothes, jobs, drugs, and boys. My idea of fashion puts me in much nicer threads on a day to day basis then I currently sport (paired with a Balenciago bag on the crook of my elbow would be nice). I've been asked to interview for many a dynamite position, such as Ingrid Sischy's Assistant at Interview or jobs that put me between here and Miami on a regular basis with celebrities. Usually left to my own devices of fucking it up with a number of "um's" and "so there's that's", leading me to constantly wish I had those jobs instead of my current standing obligation. Whenever partying you can be sure that I will want whatever stimulant or depressant I don't have (although I believe this to be common on the circuit).

And quite possibly the biggest threat to my recovery any time soon would be my want-what-I-can't-have-itis regarding the male persuasion. I've had this addiction for years. Probably thanks in part to Merrell and his bright yellow sweatpants who in 2nd grade would always answer my quest of "going together" with a "yes, no, maybe so". That kid knew how to work me over and probably planted the friggin' seed. In high school my adoration for my best friend, Rob was seizure inducing at times. Only to be dulled when he finally wanted to try things out. Over the years I've found myself having the longest "relationships" (I use that term very loosely) with those who aren't exactly as kind as they could be to Kiki. Hell, all of college I played the waiting game with my boyfriend, Phil, wanting to stick around long enough for the illusive change that of course never comes. Once again, wanting what I can't have. I like to tell myself this is due to a messiah complex of sorts, which makes its entrance every now and then. If they have a girlfriend, then consider me golden. Somehow I do my best work with this sort of gent. Never intentional, but always successful. But will I "have" them, of course not... they're already "had", so of course I want it.

I won't likely fall into that trap again. Or will I? I had finally decided that I maybe, just maybe, could be interested in a good friend of mine who has always struck me as "just so damn nice", which in the past appears to have been a deal breaker. Many would say this is a sign of maturity and chalk it up to growing up, but we know this to be false... I'm currently thinking of drinking games involving a Ching Chang, how grown up could I possibly be? So what happens as I go back and forth with trying to figure out exactly what my feelings may or may not be? Some damn girl asks him out to dinner and it appears to be taking.


Wednesday, December 01, 2004

My very first introduction with cradle robbing (and believe me there's been a few) was back in high school with my friend Adam's younger brother, Jared (mind you we were only a year apart). He used to come over to my house and sing songs on his guitar to me about not wearing shoes and others devoted to high school math teachers. We once took a trip to Indiana University to visit Adam when he had perfectionisticly begun school a summer early. It was on that trip that Jared and I fell out (out of what I'm not sure), as he spent most of the time drunk and passed out in the boys community shower. He would claim otherwise later saying I dumped him due to his not being a lacrosse player.

Go see Jared (who I might add is one of the best looking people on the planet) guest appear with the Demanders tonight at Piano's at 8PM:

(de·mand'er) n.
1. "Super-sexy female duo with the occasional "guest" male guitarist. The core: Karen on vocals/bass with Sivan on drums/contagious energy."
2. "Ferocious pre-punk rock with a killer rhythm section."
3. "As for Demander, wow, I hadn't seen such a kick-ass band in a while! They're a drums/bass girl duo who really rocked that stage."
Define them for yourself, all this month, at Pianos. Every Wednesday, with special guests.(Jared can also be seen on the 8th and 15th of this month)

PS. Can I just quietly mention how much I love Kelly Clarkson's new song "Since You've Been Gone"!!

Is it just me (mind you I was high) or did they get a real life friggin elf to assist in the tree lighting ceremony at Rockefeller Plaza last night?