Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I'm starting to think Lindsay and I could be BFF!

I'm starting to think Lindsay and I could be BFF!

I received the following email:

Hey Girls,
I just wanted to update you about our weekend in NYC. Of course it was Liz's birthday so it was bound to be a crazy know it's never a dull moment when two or more of us P.C. girls get together! Well, for those of you who didn't recieve a late night phone call Saturday night from Liz, I'll fill you in on what happened...

When we got off the subway in Manhattan, me Liz and Charley were attempting to catch a cab when I saw something laying on the street... it looked like a wallet so I kicked it over to Charley and said "whats this?" Charley picked it up and we jumped into the cab. Inside the cab Charley opened the wallet and found a liscence, an American Express Black card, a $20 bill rolled tight, and a folded up $1 bill. He yells: "Oh my God, guess whos wallet this is!" I said: "Whos? I found it, hand it over!" To my surprise it was Lindsay Lohan's California liscence and credit card! I took out the dollar bill and unfolded it to find a rather large bag of what looked to be cocaine! I couldnt believe my eyes! We had a pop star's wallet with illegal drugs and she's only 18!

The first thing that came to mind was to blackmail for a large amount of cash or a casting in her next movie... Unfortunately I've learned that publicity might not be so appealing when you have tons of strange people calling your cell phone to buy your story. Since I had no idea if I should keep the wallet or send it back, I called US Weekly for advice. US Weekly called Lindsays publicist and the next thing I knew I was getting calls from her publicist threatening to sue me. She wanted my home address so she can send a driver out to pick it up. I refused to give her any personal information. The National Inquirer called me about 8X to buy my story for $2500 (which keeps going up everytime I talk to them), they want to take pictures of the evidence, give me a polygraph, and interview me tomorrow. I dont think its the morraly correct thing to do and Im not sure its the safest either. the New York Post has attempted to contact me (check for an article in tomorrow's paper, most likely it will not be a completely accurate story), the NYPD (who threatened to arrest me if i dont hand over the goods since they claim it is government property), and some strange people who wouldn't even tell me who they were (but thought I was dumb enough to give them my address). I don't know who to believe and what to do with the wallet. I told Lindsay's publicist that I would like to return it to her in person so that I knew it was going to her. She said she would ask her. Supposedly Lindsay was freaked out by the whole thing and was crying hysterically and denied ever doing any drugs. The publicist told me she only drinks a lot and likes to party, and smokes cigarettes, but what 18 year old doesn't...what a publicist she is! She also claimed to have called Lindsay's parents who called their lawyer and is ready to sue me if I make any wrong moves.

At this point Im kind of afraid to answer my phone anymore b/c Im scared someone might get my address and come to my house. I think what I will do is just mail it to her house in Beverly Hills tomorrow and hope it gets to her. Anyway, I scanned the liscence and the credit card for you guys to see just for kicks. I blacked out her street address b/c I don't know what kind of trouble I can get into and I have to be careful! The black card is cancelled, but it would have been nice to have a night of unlimited spending on Lindsay Lohan for Liz's 24th birthday!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy shit, this is the sickest thing i've ever read

-evil (at) killthebird (dot) com

December 8, 2004 at 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

do it! screw that talentless slut. she's so obnoxious. where are her damn parents anyway? i would sell that story for no less than 10 g's. i'm not a hater by any means...i still defend paris hilton (i like her) and britney for crying out loud...but there is something about lindsay lohan...she really is annoying.

December 8, 2004 at 3:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

give her publicist an opportunity to make a counter offer equal to that the newspaper is willing to pay. Just make it clear you're not blackmailing her. She can consider it a finder's fee if it makes her feel better. ;-)

December 8, 2004 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

According to Defamer this afternoon the license number doesn't check out and Centurion Cards do not include the persons name, so one would "believe" this all appears to be false.

December 8, 2004 at 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, Black cards do have your name on it. Thanks.

December 8, 2004 at 6:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Yes, Black cards do have your name on it. Thanks."

I was thinking the same thing. How would the cashier verify its your card? LOL

December 8, 2004 at 6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting story!

Centurion cards do have the name on it and looks like a Centurion card to me, all the detailing looks very familiar. Not quite sure why she put a smilie on it.....oh yeah she is 18!

December 9, 2004 at 6:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this for real? haha seems fishy to me but whatever...They are threatening to sue you and you are just going to give it back? f that!. Teach those arrogant pricks a lesson. Give it to some newspaper anonymously and let them publish the whole story. Cock head slut needs to grow up.

December 9, 2004 at 8:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, such hatred for this girl. what did she do to you guys? she must be have come to represent some other beautiful popular girl in your life that you developed a hatred for.

December 9, 2004 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger Blue said...

Well at least it wasnt something trashy like heroin, a-la-nicole richie. Lindsey lets do lunch.


Read my blog biatches.

December 9, 2004 at 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's very much a Centurion card. It looks exactly like mine. (Of course, I don't have a happy face on mine, but hey...)

Brilliant story. Hold out for the bucks! :)

December 9, 2004 at 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heard it on the news that she lost her wallet, could be true story..

December 9, 2004 at 7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell her to go visit

i'm a fan!

December 9, 2004 at 9:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

90210 eh? hmmm.

December 10, 2004 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger Saru-San said...

Lindsay Lohan's middle name is Morgan, not Dee, so I don't buy the rest of the story. And now that it's all over the internet, even if it was true, nobody else would buy it, either... not for any sum of money. (Besides, that really doesn't look like Lindsay Lohan in the photo, and I've been stalking her for ages. AGES!)

December 11, 2004 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

It's very much a true story. I have posted her publicist statement (via NY Post). The debatable issue is whether or not it included the white horse. Either way, I don't care. Linds and I can be BFF.

December 11, 2004 at 11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK - so she's 18 years old - she's beautiful - she's successful... she may or may not do blow. Is it any of our business? Is she the only 18 year old ever to do blow? Certainly not. So what's with all this "sell the story & make a buck" crap? It is that typically American way of thinking that gives people cause to be embarrassed to be American. Should she have to pay for being famous? Pay for being successful? If your answer is yes - then I ask you why? Is it because you are not successful? Beautiful? 18? or just beacuse you dislike anyone who is? (and no - I'm not 18 - I'm 31 and completely disgusted with this whole attack the people we pay to entertain us sh-t!) - if you dislike her turn off your tv - stop reading tabloids - maybe read a f-cking book! Grow up!!

December 13, 2004 at 4:03 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

Such rage...

December 13, 2004 at 4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fyi: kiki that was not directed at you, but at the angry responses and poor advice that you have already received - but if you think it's rage - well, that's ok too.

December 13, 2004 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

I figured as much, but I like rage. Again, so everyone knows... I DID NOT FIND THE CARD CASE. I just posted the information when it passed through my little hands.

And I agree with you, since I now have received an insane amount of emails telling me to sue and people who automatically use expletives when talking about LL, they're absurd and unnecessary .

December 13, 2004 at 5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, she said on TeenNick on Sunday that she changed her middle name from Dee to Morgan, so the name is correct.

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