Wednesday, February 23, 2005

This Little Light of Mine...

This Little Light of Mine...

A close personal friend of Kiki's wasn't born into any sort of religion. In fact, to say her family fears it in a way would be very accurate as I once heard her describe the Lord's Prayer as "that chant thingy". I've found myself today in one of the funnier conversations ever existed with said friend, or anybody for that matter. Perhaps they came for my knowledge after I was caught drunk this weekend singing "The animals they came on, they came on by twosies, twosies..." to back up that unicorns at one point were real, only to become extinct by an error of Noah's:

Friend #1: Thank God she was a Jew (no pun intended)!
(At this point I am assuming she believes Jesus and God to be one in the same)
Kiki: Religious Lesson for the Day: Jews believe in God. Jews do not believe that Jesus was the son of God. Jesus was a Jew.

(I have also at this point called in reinforcements for entertainment sharing)
Friend #2: I bet she thinks "Moses" is their God!
Kiki to Friend #2: Like Allah!
Friend #2 to Kiki: Exactly!

(Back to Kiki and Friend #1)
Friend #1: Wow... that's very interesting. Jesus was a Jew. The things I never knew. So who are they to say who's the son of who?! Stupid people.
(Friend #2 has peed her pants after my passing on of the above quote)
Kiki: The Romans came into Israel and crucified Jesus (on his own turf nonetheless), which is odd since their church is one in the same that believes he was who he says he was.
Friend #1: Why don't the Romans mind their own business? Crazy fools! Who's dumb enough to kill God's son anyways. Sheeesh!
(It's at this point that I really start to debate going deeper with this conversation, but she interrupts me with a plethora more of her thoughts)
Friend #1: Well, it's the truth. Isn't this why the wise men were created... to tell those Roman fucks how stupid they are? I should've been a wise woman. I would have changed the world. I would've been the only one smart enough to tell people that murdering God's kin was NOT a good idea! (Certain comments retracted to save humanity) Long live the Christmas Tree!
Friend #1 (She now can't get enough): ... And an allelujia and an amen!
(I at this point became engrossed in work, which prompted the following):
Friend #1: Hello, did I scare you... why are you ignoring me?!
Kiki: No, sorry, I was currently trying to work up a Rider.
Friend #1: A rider???
Kiki: Moving on from church to state... Legal lesson for the day:
A "Rider" is a legal document or schedule pertaining to a contract as an insert of sorts. It typically details conditions and requirements.


(At this point, Friend #1 is so proud of herself that she has forwarded our conversation on to Friend #3 who returns with an email to the two of us)
Friend #3: Although wise ones, the Jews believed in Jesus, just not as the son of God...
Kiki: Correct you are [name retracted]! I give you a Gold Star for the day... but not of the 6 pointed variety! Ba dum dum CHING!
Friend #3: Huh?
Kiki: The Star of David... you two need some help!
Friend #1: Well I if I don't know about Jesus, I definitely don't know this guy, David!

11 Comments:

Blogger Jimmy said...

"I don't understand a word you just said."

February 24, 2005 at 9:40 AM  
Blogger Kiki said...

I'm confident this story falls under the "had-to-be-there" category.

February 24, 2005 at 10:26 AM  
Anonymous Voice From Your Past said...

You didn't happen to learn that song at Camp Akita, did you?

February 24, 2005 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger Kiki said...

SHOW YOURSELF!

But of course. I learned all my hymnals/one armed break man stories over the course of my camper/LIFE guard/counselor tenure! You don't spend 12 summers at church camp and take away nothing!

February 24, 2005 at 12:12 PM  
Anonymous voice from your past said...

I was your former assistant program director. I worked with a taller red-headed gentleman named Mike. You may remember us as secret agents, Batman and Robin, gym teachers, or other goofy characters that didn't make you laugh. Mostly I just played the drums with Rick Shaw and the Makeshifts.
Ring any bells?

February 24, 2005 at 1:00 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

Say no more. If you were PIC's with a fella that once drove the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile across America, then you could only be Mr. Morgan Lewis.

Actually, the drums gave it away.

February 24, 2005 at 1:49 PM  
Blogger Kiki said...

Say no more. If you were PIC's with a fella that once drove the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile across America, then you could only be Mr. Morgan Lewis.

Actually, the drums gave it away.

February 24, 2005 at 1:53 PM  
Anonymous Tammy said...

what about: "there were lions and tigers and bears, marching along in twos, canaries and eagles and collies and beagles and rabbits and kangaroos! giraffes and cats and pandas and bats, walruses, elephants, gnus; buffaloes, beavers and bees, fireflies, foxes and fleas, hippopotamuses, also rhinocerouses, chipmunks and chickadees..." I can't remember how it starts, but it's the other Noah's Ark song. Ah, church camp. The theological discussion is quite hilarious.

February 24, 2005 at 3:32 PM  
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