Thursday, March 24, 2005

Career Musical Chairs

Career Musical Chairs

My current occupation of the week now gives me the title of "Leasing Specialist", which is odd, since not only have I been an Art Dealer since about sixth grade, but I haven't paid my own rent in as long a time. I expected to make this jump as a helpful gesture towards my now former boss for a period not extending a months time. And in the four days that I've officially been a "Leasing Specialist", I can see quite a few things that make my day enjoyable.

First and foremost is the aspect of being a voyeur. Not only do I have the pleasure of knowing what little you want to tell me, but I also get the joy of looking up your credit, which surprisingly tells one much about your history, and in turn whether or not your a liar. I've been too frightened to look up my own, being quite certain it's far worse than anything that's come my way thus far. Just take the 29 year old lawyer for example that I researched yesterday. Who knew that someone making six figures would feel the need to not only shop at Fashion Bug, but to enroll for a credit card? Another fine time had yesterday was when doing some "independent research" on a model/actor, I found several images of the stud on and I granted the apartment on the size of his boobs alone. I'm also aware of the Psychotherapist that apparently began dating his neighbor (whom is just shy of 18 years younger than he), only to divorce his wife in the past few months and now taking up a new habitat with the lawyer. This stuff is as good as any programming I've saved on DVR.

Of course the amount of cursing that registers through my head per second is astronomical. Knowing just how many people on average were born in the 80's and procuring a heftier salary (or any at all) compared to myself puts things nice and tight into the old perspective pile. Overall the best part of the job, is through all this knowledge, I've managed to figure out a nice long list of possible suitors, and have enough knowledge to not only afford several columns for a spreadsheet, but now am able to rightly use these towards a possible ranking! Let the research continue!

Update: OK, this just in, a chick that works at fucking Glamour Shots at the Queens Mall makes more than me, and I'm guessing a good number of you! Peace be with me!


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